things I have learned

Things I have learned in my 5 1/2 years at Ben Franklin High School (and yes, I realize some of these are inaccurate and racially insensitive, I promise these are things students have told me, I'm not making them up--remember most of my students are ninth graders and laugh)

1. only punks don't throw chairs out windows
2. white people smell like pennies
3. you should be allowed time to do your homework in class
4. black people don't go to the ocean
5. no one can agree on who the best rapper is
6. chocolate is a breakfast food
7. soda is a breakfast beverage
8. you should eat Philly soft pretzels for breakfast on Fridays
9. red, blue, and purple are flavors
10. your "old head" can be younger than you
11. your "young bull" might be older than you
12. all students at Ben Franklin are cousins
13. it doesn't count as cursing if you didn't mean to say it
14. everything in life is corny and irking
15. freebies (free lunches) are great
16. freebies are disgusting
17. if you come to class late and say "I'm not late" you shouldn't be marked late
18. sleeping is a full time job
19. having the longest hang time (length of hair) in the class is a valid argument for why you are right about an entirely separate topic
20. forehead size is is worthy of extensive discussions