My cat, the continuing saga

As usual, no posts for an eon. I think I should just write about my cat on my blog, there is plenty of material, but I don't want to be a crazy cat lady. But I'm not crazy, I just have a ridiculous cat. Reasons Bianca is ridiculous"

1. She stole my pillow this week, I wake up all uncomfortable and because I hear something. I open my eyes to see my cat sleeping on my pillow purring incredibly loudly.

2. She wakes me up at 5am to be fed. I get up and dump food in her dish. I go back to sleep. She wakes me up at 5:05. I get up and look at her dish to see why I am awake again. I have missed the dish with the food and she is refusing to eat it off the floor. I place the food in her dish and she eats and I get to sleep. (never mind that she has a habit of fishing one piece at a time daintily out of her dish and placing it on the floor to eat)

3. She wakes me up daily by tapping and petting my face--no kidding it is the weirdest thing. I am sleeping soundly when a small paw gently begins rubbing my cheeks, tapping my lips, and trying to open my eyes--fortunately she doesn't use her claws.

4. When I ignore the face tapping she takes it up a notch. She balances on my headboard and puts her claws out and combs through my hair until I get up.

5. She has to have the sink filled with water if I walk near the bathroom. When I filled it for her a little bit ago I returned to find her lounging alongside with her tail in the water--she was annoyed that I drained the sink. She is ridiculous, cats aren't supposed to like water.

6. She is scared of ceiling fans. I have to bribe her with cat nip to go in the den (which has a litter box so she has to go in there).

7. She is mildly obsessed with the furminator brush. Which is good to help keep down shedding, but she gets so excited it is hard to brush her, she can't stop rubbing her cheek against my hands and the brush.

8. She loves socks and underwear. She is in heaven right now because my laundry is sorted and on the floor waiting to go in the washer. I have to keep my drawers tightly closed, even an inch gap and she'll fish out all my underwear or socks and line them up from the bedroom to the front door.

9. She doesn't like my laptop, she thinks she is the only thing that belongs on my lap. To keep her occupied when I write lesson plans I grab a box of office supplies out of my desk drawer and let her fish them all out of the box while I type.

10. She whines like a toddler, but she is never going to grow up, I'd like to trade her in for a toddler if anyone would like to make a switch, you'd save money: no babysitters, college, car insurance etc. (although you do have a pay for boarding if you travel, she refuses to use her litter box even if you have someone come and check on her daily while you are away)

11. She gets annoyed with my Bible. It sits by my bed, but it also seems to be where her favorite sunbeam comes through the window. This has created a hostile relationship--I'm waiting for her to get struck by lightning because I don't speak cat, but I'm pretty sure she is cursing at the Bible.